FAQ

2008-08-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

What kind of stupid name is The Collective Shelf anyway?

The idea behind the name is that with the internet and what not, everything is basically available to everyone. Soon all our content (music, movies, pictures of grandma etc.) will all be on the same collective shelf as it were, and those so inclined will be able to pull down items and peruse them as they please, illegally or otherwise (someone's random grandma pic)

You could say I’m preemptively getting in on the web 3.0 cloud computing game, but you would be massively over thinking it, and would also be a giant webcock.

Doesn’t that imply that the site is the shelf though? So where are all the books/movies?

Yes it does. Sorry but ‘’The Analyser and Reviewer of the Collective Shelf (TARCS)’’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. Consider me more as the guy who you invite to dinner only for him to pretend to go to the bathroom so he can scrutanise and make ‘’oooww dear’’ noises at your dvds.

Oh, and you’re a pedantic jackass.

Is The Collective Shelf your job?

Unfortunately not. I’m attending Westminster Film School at the moment, so please understand if posting gets irregular from time to time. It’s safe to assume I’m in a cold run down warehouse deploying large amounts of gaffer tape.

To that end, all donations are appreciated beyond what you can even imagine. I’m not saying "send me cash right now or you won’t hear another word!’’ but if you have some spare change for hosting / baked beans it wouldn’t hurt. If you would like to help out, head over to the donations page.

Can I hire you? (in my dreams is this a FAQ)

Yes! I have skills in freelance film journalism and film | audio editing. If I love your film/audio project/podcast I can probably help you out for dirt cheap or even for free. Email me and explain what you’re doing.

How come you’re so funny and talented?

Thank my parents (and Google)

What’s with the pretentious Citation Du Mois?

What’s the best way to tackle pretension? Wear it on your sleeve! They are always very serious quotes i find on the web/magazines that make me chuckle. Plus they remind me that even though I maybe waxing lyrical on the merits of a german expressionistic masterpiece, I shouldn't get too close to the beret or i’ll risk becoming just like the people i laugh at.

Oh, and i have to find some use for all the bloody french i learnt.

Who is The Sad Guy in the sponsors list?

I have no idea. He is quite wonderful though.

You’re name is Linton. What’s that all about?

I have no idea. Blame my parents.

Can I send you a link to my short film | event | blog for you to subsequently pimp?

Please send away, I’ll offer you my feedback, and if I really love what you’ve done I might give you a plug. Otherwise no, unless you want to pay and become an advertiser.

Can I become an advertiser | place one of your articles in my newspaper/blog/toilet?

Almost certainly, contact me and we’ll work it out.

It's what everyone wants to know: Mac or PC?

If you don't have a Mac, you don't have a soul (*bids 91% of his readers goodbye and good riddance*). No no i didn't mean it, but I do worship The Steve.

I wish. Again: Poor Student. If you want to pay for my ticket + travel I will happily attend. If it's in London then I only need the price of admission.

When I click on a link on your site, the URL looks funny.

You're not supposed to notice! It’s because I have no money and little web design skills. It’s a free way of getting around both those problems. This is a Blogger site trying its hardest not to look like a blogger site. Want sexier URLs? Donate some money, but I warn you it could well get spent on food.

Do you have a Myspace page?

Only if it’s waiting for me on some kind of ironic eyeball-searing machine in hell.

What song are you listening to right now?

Shut up. (that's a reference for the younger generation. Oldies: don't feel bad, you're 100% not missing out)

This FAQ was all well and good, but it hasn’t fully answered my question / satisfied my stalker needs!!

Woh ok, two exclamation marks. Calm down, no need to panic.

If you have a question | feedback then send me an email. I'll be happy to hear from you. Not in a ''you're call is important to us, please stay on the line'' way but in ''Yay! I have an excuse to get out of bed'' way.

If you want to stalk me some more, check out the site’s About The Author section. I would appreciate if the stalkers didn't email, but I'm guessing that's part of your gig.